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Politics Starts at the Budget’s Edge

Noted military hero and strategist Senator Tom Daschle fired his opening salvo in the Democratic critique of America’s war against terrorists.

The South Dakota Democrat told reporters that while the campaign against terror has been successful so far, "the continued success, I think, is still somewhat in doubt."

Daschle said the United States must find ex-Taliban leader Mullah Mohammed Omar and Osama bin Laden and other leaders of the al-Qaida terrorist network, "or we will have failed."

Demonstrating the razor sharp intellect that led him to describe tax cuts passed as the cause of a recession that began, Dashcle defined for the President what the true measure of war time success is. Reporters nodded in agreement with Dachle’s conclusions and agreed that his improved stature as a grand strategist was due largely to his standing on several copies of Karl Von Clausewitz’s "On War" while making his comments. Daschle declined to comment when asked by a right wing reporter from the Washington Times if the President has the constitutional power as Commander In Chief to define the nation’s war aims. As he gingerly stepped off the the teetering stack of books he was heard muttering to an aid, "A prophet is never honored in his own country."

Meanwhile Washington was treated to the piercing analysis of Senator Robert Byrd.

Sen. Robert C. Byrd (D-W.Va.), chairman of the Appropriations Committee, grilled top defense officials at a budget hearing about the lack of an "exit strategy" in Afghanistan, their failure to capture al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, and a widening global campaign against terrorists that seems to have "no end in sight."

When Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz began an explanation of the complicated process of identifying and locating terrorists Senator Byrd interrupted Wolfowitz by exclaiming, "I was born in a one room house in the coal fields of West Virginia, where were you born?" Wolfowitz attempted to steer the questioning back to the defense budget but Byrd would not be denied. As Wolfowitz described the intricate nature of intelligence analysis Byrd ejaculated, "Now don’t get me wrong here. I think we need to do everything we can to get this Hitler fellow. I just want to fulfill my constitutional duty as the Conscience of the Senate and make sure the good folks of West Virginia get their fair share of goodies. Know what I mean?" Before Wolfowitz could formulate a response the Senator followed up, "If you boys do right by me there might even be a few extra dollars in it for y’all to get that Musso. And some shiny new missiles."

They’re clowns. Grubby political clowns whose only concern is dividing up our tax dollars for their favored friends.

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